A day of unusual happenings

Just had to write a short post to tell you about this, because it was so bizarre. I got mugged this morning! A block from my house! So weird. I was walking into town, with my iPod on, when this guy ran up from behind me and grabbed my handbag. We wrestled for it a bit - I was screaming at him - and the straps broke. Bastard! It was my favourite vintage bag. He didn't get it, though, because I was hanging on like grim death and swearing like a sailor (on leave). He gave up and ran off around the corner. Then a courier van screeched past me, following him. It turned out that he had robbed our local jeweller (why would you try and grab a handbag when you had just stolen a handful of diamond rings?), and was pursued by the shop-owner and a couple of other guys who had seen it happen - one of whom was a courier. They followed him to a house around the corner from ours, where he had tried to hide. He was banging on the door trying to get in. They pinned him down (by sitting on him - quite comical to watch) and called the police, and we all hung around waiting for them. A couple of lovely old ladies who lived next door brought me out a cup of tea with two sugars - "for the shock" - and then we all gave statements. Apparently at some point I have to go in to the police station and give a more detailed one. So yes, exciting and unpleasant start to the day.

My poor little handbag, all injured and maimed! At least he didn't manage to get it.

"Am I getting mixed signals?"

Dear Auntie June,

Recently I feel like I have been getting mixed signals from the people I'm trying to attract. It seems like they're interested in me - they pay me all kinds of compliments and they seem to like me - but when it comes to the crunch, none of them wants to commit. For example, today one of them said, "In the end I thought it would be hard to make enough of a platform for this novel to reach a wide audience. It’s lovely and well-written but there were some structural issues I had with the story, particularly the last third. It’s one of those that I did waver over though." What am I doing wrong? How can I get them to take that final step and enter a long-term relationship?

Andrea the Aspiring Author

Auntie June writes,

"Well, it sounds like you're in a pickle, Pickle. I'm sorry to say it, love, but it seems to me like they're just not that into you. Actions speak louder than words, pet, after all. It sounds to me like the right person just hasn't come along for you yet, and you need to be patient. It's probably for the best that these attractions haven't turned into relationships; you want someone who really cares about you wholeheartedly, not someone who's unsure. So chin up, ducks! Worse things happen at sea."

In which I get over-excited and post too many photographs

NEW DRESS NEW DRESS NEW DRESS. New, beloved vintage dress! Is another Rejection Dress bought to cheer myself up. My closet has a few of those.

And now I am facing sideways. I curled the front pieces of my hair for the first time today - I like the silent-film look it has.

Here I get delusions of grandeur and try to look sultry. Instead I look like I am mid-yawn.

And here I crack up because, really, I cannot pose to save my life, and I look like a chipmunk.

Back to normal again! Or what passes for it.