Sunday, July 12, 2009

By hand

Oh dear, I've been unintentionally absent for a few days. Thanks so much for all your comments on my last post - a lot more of you than I expected have never seen those television shows either! I feel better about my living-under-a-rock-ness. And, as expected, I fell completely in love with Pushing Daisies (we couldn't find Mad Men). Such a gorgeous, surreal show. Amelie-influenced, possibly? It's so refreshing when you come across good writing on television. There are some wonderful shows out there, but, sadly, a ridiculous amount of them get cancelled far too early. I can now understand the outcry when Pushing Daisies was cancelled, and I'm still grieving for Firefly.

I've been away from the blogosphere because of general busy-ness caused by preparing for our trip. I can't believe we're leaving next Friday! It doesn't seem real. I also can't believe that I'm going to be meeting my agent and editor. In a way, it still feels like it never happened - I think this is because all the communication has been through email. Part of me (the neurotic part, which is a large and powerful part) thinks that it might all be a hoax, or that I imagined it. I re-check the emails every so often to make sure, but meeting Vivien and Liz will make it concrete. Which is exciting, and also terrifying!

Working in longhand is really helping me at the moment. I became very stressed about my first draft a couple of weeks ago, after I discarded those dreadful 10,000 words. I put a lot of pressure on myself to catch up as quickly as possible. Since my brain is a small child, it rebelled and resisted in every way possible. Writing longhand has provided a great solution. It might not work for everyone, but it works for me. Perhaps it will help you, too

Why writing longhand makes a difference

1) My handwriting is dreadful, particularly when I'm writing fast. I vividly remember my Grade Three teacher pointing at me and saying in front of the whole class, "Your handwriting is disgusting!" She also told me off for holding my pen 'wrongly.' I still hold it that way and, yes, it looks pretty strange, but it does the job. Anyway. Sometimes it can be hard to decipher what I've written. In deciphering the handwriting as I type up the day's pages, however, I automatically edit my work. It also makes me think about each word I have written, as I have to transcribe it from one medium to another.

2) My hand is slower than my mind, and it can be frustrating trying to keep up with my thoughts and get them all done in time. On the other hand, it forces the brain to slow down, which can be a very good thing. I can immerse myself in my work more easily than when I type.

3) I don't need to lug a laptop around and worry about it being broken or stolen. I did have a scary moment this afternoon, however, when I realised that I had left my notebook on a sofa in the cafe (cue desperate sprint back). I suppose people are highly unlikely to steal a notebook full of indecipherable gibberish, though.

4) My writing changes. I pay more attention to each word and sentence because they take so much longer to create. I am more aware of the music and rhythm of it, because I have slowed down to such an extent that each sentence sounds and echoes in my head as I write it. I suppose it's rather like listening to a book on tape, while typing on a screen is more like watching a movie.

5) I find it easier to finish an entire scene. When I'm writing in Word or yWriter, it's easy to move back and forth between different scenes. Sometimes I'll just write one or two sentences, a quick outline, and then leave the scene for later. This is rarely a good idea - I find, for me, it is best to write in the fervour of the moment, when I am still excited about it. Writing longhand means that I can't refer to other sections of the book and distract myself from the scene on which I'm working.

6) There's a physicality to writing in longhand as opposed to writing on a computer that is very satisfying, and quite freeing. I'm more involved with my materials, like a little kid happily squishing around with finger paints. I know that I am 'making something' when I type, but it feels much more like 'making something' when I can see the ink moving through the pen and feel the scratch and scrape of the nib on the paper.

7) The book I am writing is told in first-person. It feels very natural to write in longhand for this particular project because I am transcribing a character's thoughts. Writing longhand feels more 'real', like writing a diary.

8) It reminds me of the days before I had a computer to write on, when I was small. I would spend hours filling up exercise book after exercise book with stories and illustrations and maps. There's a secret, childish joy in doing this again now.

9) I am a very visual person, and I struggle with the black-and-white-ness of writing. Black words, white screen. I see the events unfolding like a movie in my head, but when I emerge from the fugue state and look at the screen, it is not very inspiring visually. In a notebook, I can doodle little pictures and patterns. I can make fancy illuminated letters at the beginning of sections, and draw little maps. It is great fun.

10) Since I am not at the computer, I can't indulge in my beloved Internet distractions!

11) Ideas seem to flow more easily when I'm writing in longhand. I am not sure exactly why. I think it may be because sitting at a computer feels like 'work'. I can check my word count, see what page I have reached, quantify my writing. On a real-life page, however, I can't be that methodical. It takes some of the pressure off, and lets my creative mind relax and fool around a bit more.

12) I write more. No idea why this happens. Again, perhaps it's because I can't endlessly check my word count? (word count is to Andrea as Vicodin is to House). Also, the inner critic isn't as vocal as it is when I am typing. I think this is because I can't backspace or re-write things as easily. I know I will be editing later and can't do it right away, so I relax and get on with the composition.

I found this fantastic blog post which describes the experience beautifully:

But when I write longhand, the experience is different. I think it is because that critical part of my brain is busy picking apart my handwriting (which truly is horrible) instead of my prose. It tells me that my handwriting is atrocious. And it gets the satisfaction of being right. But who cares? While it’s busy the words are just rushing out. And they’re not henpecked or second-guessed before they’ve had time to cool. They exist in a flawed, but pure state. This kind of prose has a feral power that seems to be lacking from the things I type. Maybe that’s not it, maybe it’s just harder to get my head in that effortless writing space when I use a keyboard. But whatever the case is, writing longhand makes it easier for me to reach a writer’s high. - Patrick E. McLean

I am not going to abandon my computer and writing software anytime soon, but this has been a very interesting experience. Does anyone else write in longhand? Why, or why not?

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