1) I will say the wrong thing a lot and make inappropriate jokes.
2) I'm an introvert by nature. I can play nicely with others for a couple of hours, but then I really need to be by myself and recharge. Ideally in a corner somewhere, with a book. Unfortunately you can't really do this once you're an Adult.
3) I am not domestically skilled under pressure. I will offer to help with dinner, but I would really rather you didn't take me up on this offer. Such things as chopping vegetables and laying the table can end in creatively disastrous ways when I am nervous. I will make silly mistakes and drop things and possibly cause a civil emergency.
4) I am weird about using other people's bathrooms, especially in the middle of the night when it's all silent and the flushing sounds like thunder.
5) I am awkward when hugs and kisses on cheeks are expected.
6) I am weird about eating certain foods and get anxious at big family dinners where those foods are served and I will offend people by not eating them. My throat closes up and I have a panic attack and have to pretend I'm allergic to things.
7) I will remember the time you all thought I was pregnant (out of wedlock, no less!) and a Woman of Questionable Morals, and a feeling of Cringe will wash over me.
8) I will forget things that you told me the last time I saw you - "How's Frank? He's dead? I was at the funeral? Oh. Sorry."
9) I will consistently forget the names and ages of people's children.
10) I probably forgot to send someone a birthday card, and this information will surface at some point during the gathering. It will then prompt a discussion of all the other birthday cards, thank you notes, engagement presents and holiday wishes that I have not sent over the years.
(Normal bloggy service will resume shortly).
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