Battle of the Andreas

I'm planning to send some chapters of Current Book to my agent tomorrow - I'm still a couple of weeks off finishing this draft, but it will be the final draft that I write on my own before receiving feedback. Even though I haven't got a completr draft, I want to send some of it off into the world. Possibly just to convince myself that it exists somewhere other than inside my head. Scrapbooking the revisions worked really well - I tried to switch off the logical part of my brain and rearrange the scenes by instinct, doing whatever felt natural. Sometimes I can get too bogged down in detail and organisation (surprise, surprise) and need to trust my instincts. Those two parts of my brain are permanently at war, as I think they are in any writer's mind, and both are important. It's just a matter of knowing which one needs to be in charge when, which sounds easier than it is. I imagine one wearing horn-rimmed spectacles and a librarian cardigan and the other one in a tie-dyed caftan.

The other two parts of me that seem to be at war at the moment are the hoarding, collecting part that craves security and anchoring, and the part that wants to purge and get rid of things and be free. I have always been a weird mixture of a homebody and a jetsetter, and I want both with equal intensity. I suppose it has come to the surface more now that we're moving and editing down our possessions. In some ways, I really enjoy this process: I like getting rid of things. I like moving house. I like new experiences and new people and adventure. But I also like being at home, nesting, feeling secure and surrounding myself with the things I love. This makes for a rather interesting mental state, as I simultaneously clear out the house and accumulate more sentimental bits and pieces. Oh well! I have six whole weeks to get used to the idea.

Comment of the day

"I'm comforted to know I'm not the only split personality type. My halves never co-exist in harmony - one week I'll be feverishly trying to minimalise my life, quite convinced this is exactly how it should be, and suddenly I'll obsessively need to surround myself with "stuff" and "things" and wondering why one earth I ever wanted it any other way. Oh for some balance!" - Ella