Why writing is like sex

"Writing is like making love. Don't worry about the orgasm, just concentrate on the process." - Isabel Allende

Now, darling, when a writer and a story love each other very, very much ...

Just kidding.

So, sex isn't something that comes up often here (thank goodness, I say). I started thinking about it today when I said to a friend that I feel frustrated. With my writing, I mean (get your minds out of the gutter). I feel like I have lost the ability lately to sustain periods of deep, concentrated thought and focus. I am not particularly engaged with the world. I am far more engaged with my to-do lists and my red pen. My body and emotions, all those hormones sloshing about in glands, seem to have disappeared, and I am left with the analytical part of my brain and a diary full of appointments and reminders. In a way, I think this might be a self-protection mechanism - clearly it is a difficult time, as we prepare to move countries. My brain is shutting off some of its more emotional and visceral responses in order to focus on the Things That Need Doing. I understand that. But it doesn't make for great joy in creativity. Writing is an activity that needs the involvement of your body and emotions, and the suspension of the critical, analytical self. Like sex. And it resembles sex in other ways, too.

You might not feel in the mood initially ...

... but once you get started you'll usually get into it.

It works best when you go with the flow

If it seems to be working, and it feels good, it's better not to analyse. Just carry on ... er ... writing.

For it to feel good, you need to be in the moment

Worrying about your next appointment or the bill that was due yesterday is not conducive to losing yourself in creativity.

You have more fun when you're uninhibited

It might seem crazy, but try out that wild idea that occurred to you in the shower. You're not landing a plane in a snowstorm. No one is going to die if you try something different and risk failing. More often than not, the weird idea or unexpected detour will result in something great.

Trying new techniques can lead to good (and unexpected) results

Work outside of your normal style now and then. You'll be pleasantly surprised at what turns up.

Sometimes toys can help

I get really excited when I have a new programme to play with, or a sparkly new notebook to scribble in. And one of the most effective techniques I have ever tried is cutting and pasting everything I've written into a scrapbook to shape a new novel. If props help you think in different and exciting ways, go for it.

It's really satisfying once you've finished

Enough said.

Comment of the day

"Great post! And yes *holds hand up sheepishly* I did have to pull my mind out of the gutter. The problem is I think my mind likes it there, rolling around getting all dirty. *stares hold at sentence* AGH!" - Jayne