Exposing yourself (not like that)

Okay, maybe a little bit like that.

"It is a paradox: writers, who are presumably the most sensitive of creatures; who possess a hyper-alertness to life, subject themselves to a process that even the most thick-skinned and impervious would find harrowing. Too, writers are often working against a sense of inner transgression, telling stories they feel they were forbidden to reveal. They are usually our resident observers, and it is a painful and shaky process to take the stage. To then get cut down for your effort, is the ultimate form of existential pain—reaffirming the very dynamic you have worked so hard to overcome. You suddenly realize the terrible exposure that publishing brings. This is something any writer who seriously wants to get published must expect." - Marina Budhos

I wouldn't quite claim existential pain, but I am starting to experience some of the caught-naked-in-full-beam-headlights feeling that comes with being published, even though the book hasn't even launched yet. Writing feels terribly intimate while you're doing it - it's just you and the reader, experiencing a story together - but, of course, once it's out in the world it becomes very public. And not everyone is going to like it (nor should they). I know that in writing a story set in Zimbabwe's recent history, I am describing a very complex and volatile situation that inspires, quite rightly, passionate feelings in many people. I tried to be very honest, and while that will resonate with some people, it will offend others. That's just how writing works. I know that.

Here's the thing:

I will never be able to tell the story of 1990s Zimbabwe to everyone's satisfaction.

Here's the other thing:

I'm not trying to.

I want as many stories as possible to come out of Zimbabwe; as many voices as possible to be heard. I can't wait to read all the stories that I know will emerge from Zimbabwe to join the already extensive list of wonderful books on the country that are available. I am just one of many voices - that's it. I am not a political scientist, an economist, a sociologist or anything that could possibly give me any claim to being an expert on the country's workings. I am one person trying to make sense of my experiences and the experiences of others through storytelling. I don't think you will ever get an accurate picture of a place or situation from reading just one book, because there are as many different views of the situation as there are people.

Having said that, here are a few of my very favourite Zimbabwean books.

An Elegy for Easterly - Pettina Gappah
Unfeeling - Ian Holding
The Grass is Singing - Doris Lessing (who went to my high school in Harare, weirdly enough)
Mukiwa - Peter Godwin
Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight - Alexandra Fuller
Nervous Conditions - Tsitsi Dangarembga
The Stone Virgins - Yvonne Vera

Again, every one has a different voice and a different perspective on the country, but together we can start piecing together a picture that approaches some sort of accuracy.

P.S. I just read this great post from the ever-hilarious Kiersten White as well. Wise words.

"Anyhow. People love your writing. People hate your writing. Doesn't matter. You always write alone. Thank heavens, too, because I'd hate for people to be reading over my shoulder and vomiting all over my poor MacBook ..." - Kiersten White